Wanting Another Person’s Life

what is the point in doing so…

'Don’t worry about the wicked or envy those who do wrong. For like grass, they soon fade away. Like spring flowers, they soon wither. ' Psalms 37:1-2

whether it is from greed or jealousy, when you want what someone else has you basically are telling God that His plan for you sucks. that He must have made a mistake and needs to change it.

this definitely is a heart issue. something that i knew quite a bit about in my 20s and 30s. even with that i had, which was pretty damn good materialistically, it wasn’t enough. when i would see someone with a nicer car, nicer house, fancier clothes, eating better than me/my family, i couldn’t simply be satisfied, i wanted more.

when chasing after those things, i lost my mind, my way, myself. i see this in many of our youths, especially the past decade of excess - the get yours before they get theirs. what’s in it for me. the fb and ig, or social, life, that majority of people are faking. not all are living in mansions, flying in private jets, driving $200,000+ vehicles, etc.

so many have been caught, exposed for taking pictures on fancy vehicles, in first class, or in front of real 5-star hotels, only to be shown as frauds. once they have, majority disappear, never to be hear of again. so very sad to think i chased after this lifestyle for so many years, ultimately coming up broke - financially and spiritually: “fading grass, withering flowers.”

now in my 50s i don’t feel, think, or act the way i did 20-30 years ago. do i not wish i had some of those things i longed for and chased after - no, that would be a lie. i sometimes do think about what i had lost and what could’ve been if i wasn’t so full of sin.

what i need to remain is focused, to not allow the devil to get into my head and remind me of my past, my failures, my losses. instead, look at what i do have - Jesus (salvation from death); family (sachi didn’t divorce me, yujin has forgiven me); a home, not just a house; abilities; job; friends, all the things that money can’t buy and material items that can’t bring true happiness in my life.

Father God, thank you for your love, your joy, your peace. none of these can be bought nor can be taken away from me. you allow so through you Son, Jesus. may i not long for what is meant for someone else and to be able to rejoice for those that are blessed with them. in Jesus’ name i pray, amen!