Comfort in Loss

when you are at a loss for words…

start with those that God gave to us in The Bible.

i’ve been on a roller coaster ride with emotions with events that have happened in the past few weeks, including the recent death of a friend’s wife, and i would even say the same for uncle mike. how does one offer comfort when you’ve never been in the same situation or position? what should i do? what should i say? how often should i reach out? all of these questions and others have come to mind and i’m often left wondering if it is enough or am i being too much.

while we all have had to deal with death at some point in our lives, i don’t feel it gets any easier as we age. you would think that as you do grow older, we would have the right words to share and know what to do when it happens, but i still struggle. i have found comfort in finding what to say in The Bible, reflecting on God’s Word, and sharing scripture(s) that reflects back on God’s love for us. time and again, as we have all been taught and had personal experience, when we go to The Lord in prayer, get into The Word, we find Him and answers to our hearts deepest questions and longing.

the following are just a few:

psalm 34:18 - The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

psalm 42:11 - Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again — my Savior and my God!

psalm 147:3 - He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.

matthew 5:4 - God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted

john 16:22 - So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy.

romans 8:18 - Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.

romans 12:15 - Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

revelation 21:4 - He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

i would be lying if i say it is easy to find good in the loss, the pain, the uncertainty, etc., while you are going through what you are. there have been times i just had to scream my lungs out and cry myself to exhaustion in order to let things go, even after prayer and turning it over to Jesus.

what did help me to gain better understanding and how to help others along is watching the following video by pastor greg laurie of harvest - hope for hurting hearts. different people sharing their stories and their journey through the pain.

other teachings/lessons you can learn from:

saddleback church, pastor rick warren

when i feel heartbroken i turn to God - https://saddleback.com/blog/Saddleback-Women/2021/03/15/When-I-Feel-Heartbroken-I-Turn-To-God

how to help a friend in deep pain - https://saddleback.com/connect/Articles/MAP/2022/5/31/map

where is God when it hurts - https://saddleback.com/watch/where-is-god-when-it-hurts

what i found is as i asked The Holy Spirit to fill me, to enlighten me, to help me understand, i simply need to be available when my friend needed to talk, like last night around 9:30-10:30pm and other times; or sending text messages here and there through the week; and it didn’t have to be anything specific other than to let them know how much God loves them, you love them, and are available for them.

no judgement, not advice, just simply listening and providing them an outlet to voice their sadness, their frustrations, their disappointments, whatever. just to be available is probably the most important lesson i’ve learned. they don’t need you to be a doctor or therapist, just their friend/brother who would walk alongside them in the valley, the darkness, to the light of Jesus.

thank you Father God that we, your children, can come to you no matter what we are dealing with. loss was never a part of your plan, nor death and pain. thank you for your redeeming love through your Son, Our Lord and Savior, Jesus. may we always carry that with us, sharing with others how they can get through whatever they are dealing with in you alone. i love you, we love you, in your mighty and powerful name we pray, amen!