When you are sorry and want to make things right

Restitution for Wrongs…

5 The Lord said to Moses, 6 “Say to the Israelites: ‘Any man or woman who wrongs another in any way and so is unfaithful to the Lord is guilty 7 and must confess the sin they have committed. They must make full restitution for the wrong they have done, add a fifth of the value to it and give it all to the person they have wronged. ~numbers 5:5-7~

this is always a difficult part of recovery, even every day life, if you are not prepared to do so and, especially, sincerely meaning to correct what you did wrong. to begin with, one must confess that they committed a sin. similarly, you will find this in the 12 steps of NA, specifically step 5:

We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

the confession part in numbers is to God, our Heavenly Father, as there’s no reference to others, acknowledging what you did, though what you did was actually also doing it to The Lord:

a very significant revelation here is the fact that all sins, against whomsoever committed, are not only sins against the persons wronged, but are also sins against Jehovah. “all sins against man are also sins against God.” george buchannan gray, op. cit., p. 41, coffman’s commentaries on The Bible

fast forward, from there you go into step 9:

We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

while numbers 7 speaks of making restitution in those days, it may be quite challenging for someone to do so today based on what he/she did. in my case, the drugs that i sold, each life that i affected: stuck in addiction; breakdown in their health - mental, emotional, & physical; the pain caused to loved ones - family, friends, co-workers, etc.; financial loss and more. how could i put a price on what they lost and how it affected them then, even now?

what i could do as i went through the recovery process are steps 8 & 9 - make a list, then make amends where possible unless it would be detrimental to the other party. this was a very hard process. having to think back to all the people you hurt, those who are no longer alive (my mom), those who chose not to be a part of your life or you theirs (past friendships and family members), from the smallest to the biggest thing you did (lied, cheated, stole from, etc.).

you would think this part is easy because all you would like to do is say sorry, be forgiven, then to have the past forgotten about. unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way. immediately some will, others shortly, in time more, a few never. this can’t be helped, everyone processes pain and being hurt differently. as steps 1, 2, & 3 indicate, we were powerless and we needed help, the type that cannot simply be or come from within ourselves.

this is where a life changing decision to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and walk as He taught changes everything. hebrews 2:17 niv - for this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.

first thing is that it starts with forgiveness - asking for, then extending it. the former from The Lord then of others, the latter to whoever has done your wrong. next, while i may not be able to pay back everyone that i have hurt as instructed in numbers 5, what i can do is follow the example that Jesus left us when He forgave others. from compellingtruth.org:

but the theme of the New Testament is the forgiveness of obligation. The parable of the unmerciful servant (matthew 18:21-35) is an illustration of how God forgives our debt and how He expects us to forgive those who owe us. ~restitution in The Bible~

whether you are dealing with an issue with addiction or not, the illustration of extending forgiveness applies regardless of who you are, what was said or done to you, and equally when you are the offender. to truly be set free today, each of us has to.

thank you Father God for the power of forgiveness in and through our Lord and Savior, Jesus. without the example and lessons He taught, i would still be struggling to get over my past and to move forward then to help others do the same. would you please work in my life and of my family. that we would extend forgiveness all the while coming to you for forgiveness ourselves. you paid the ultimate price to set me, to set us free; please teach me and my family to do the same so we will not be slaves to our past and thinking we can pay our way out of sin. thank you Lord for always being their for my family and i. teach us how to live out our lives as you modeled and taught. in Jesus’ name i pray, amen!